Do you know who is with you 24/7 and experiences all the ups and downs? You yourself. But for some reason, we are often ready to love and protect others, forgetting about ourselves. “I’m just stupid, that’s why I have no luck”, “I have to work on the weekend, so what, my head hurts”, “I can’t refuse my loved one, what will he think of me” – these and other phrases addressed to yourself can signal that you do not love yourself. We will tell you what other signs there are and how to start giving love to the most valuable person in the world.
Ignoring the Needs of the Body
You feel that your stomach is growling from hunger, but you do not go to eat. You often endure pain and arrange for yourself a challenge “How long can I last without painkillers”. And you also do not go to the doctor when you get sick.
This is not about situations where access to food or medical care is limited. The problem is that we are taught to ignore our needs: to go to the toilet only during breaks, to eat on schedule with the family and always until the last spoon, to put on another layer of clothing, even if it is hot. After this, it can be difficult to re-establish contact with the body and fight prohibitions, discomfort, a sense of shame – the habit of enduring and overcoming turns out to be stronger.
You Do not Trust Your Feelings and Judgments
Self-gaslighting occurs – you convince yourself that it seemed to you, that you are exaggerating. It becomes difficult to trust your feelings, because of which danger signals are ignored.
For example, you experience strong anxiety around a person and instead of understanding the reasons, you decide to ignore it. Or, when faced with cruelty, you can convince yourself that it was your imagination or blame yourself for overreacting.
It can also be difficult to trust your decisions and make choices on your own. You want to confirm any decision with the other person. Otherwise, it seems that you will do everything wrong.
It Is Difficult for You to Be Yourself
Your entire public life feels like an acting game or an eternal change of masks. You adjust your behavior and even opinions to the expectations of those around you, trying to fit into changing standards. In communication, you often experience anxiety and nervousness, it seems that you are about to be seen through and find out what you really are.
You Say Bad Things about Yourself
When something happens, you always blame yourself for it, even if you have not done anything bad. In conversations about yourself, you hang labels on yourself: “I am just stupid”, “I am absolutely talentless”. The inner critic often speaks in you, launching thoughts about your worthlessness. And over time, it can also speak louder – from a thesis said in the form of a joke about his stupidity, a person moves on to open insults.
You Belittle Your Achievements
Everything good that happens to you goes unnoticed. Instead, you focus on the bad things and think that they are constantly happening to you. When you achieve something, instead of recognizing the victory and rejoicing, you say: “It didn’t cost me anything,” “It doesn’t mean anything at all.”
It’s Hard to Spend Money on Yourself
It’s not about financial well-being. You have money, but it’s hard for you to allow yourself to buy something. It seems that a new dress that you liked too much, or delicious coffee from a coffee shop is a pampering. You convince yourself that there is no point in spending money on some little things that can bring pleasure specifically to you.
Building self-love is essential, but it’s also important to find activities that give you joy and excitement. For some, sports betting with platforms like nationalcasino.com can provide a fun and engaging pastime, especially when done responsibly. BetLabel offers a seamless online experience, allowing you to place bets on your favorite sports from the comfort of your home. Just remember, as you invest in enjoyable activities, don’t forget to prioritize your well-being and self-care too!
Self-Sabotage
You set important goals for yourself, and then with your own hands you destroy the path to what you would like. For example, you procrastinate. Another example of self-sabotage is perfectionism. You refuse to take on a task because you are not sure that it will be done perfectly. This leaves you in a trap of either all or nothing, with your goals not being met and you feeling guilty and tired about what is happening.
Constantly Comparing Yourself to Others
And not in your favor. It seems to you all the time that you need to compare your achievements and appearance with others. Your body feels “not the same” in all respects. Tastes seem strange if they differ even slightly from other people’s tastes. And achievements seem not successful enough, even if you never wanted an apartment in a skyscraper and yacht trips.
Building self-love is a long journey. But it is worth it, because in the end you will find a reliable ally in yourself who will never leave you.
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